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Worst State Travel Marketing Taglines

Worst State Travel Marketing Taglines


If you listen carefully, you can hear hospice whispering your name. 


Anything can happen. Bring plenty of underwear.


Does a beat shit in the woods? Find out in Montana


We know you’re laughing at us. We just don’t care.


#1 in suicides.


You don’t have to be white to enjoy Idaho—but it sure helps.


Eat. Sleep. Leave.


We’re not all assholes.

New Mexico

No, you don’t need a passport, dumbshit.

New York

Where everyone’s welcome—except you.

North Carolina

Port-a-potties everywhere, so you can go anywhere.


Gun Laws? Never heard of them.


A perfect day in Dallas/Fort Worth: Watch the Cattle Drive. See Shakespeare in the park. Witness a lethal injection.

West Virginia

Everything you’ve heard is true.


You’ve arrived. Now, sit back, relax and imagine you’re somewhere else.

North Dakota

Cemetery plots starting at $119.


Our age of consent laws are more like guidelines.


Explore Nebraska’s hidden brothels.


Bicentennial 1817-2017. Celebrating two hundred years of prejudice and bigotry


Wake up and smell the shade-grown, fair-trade, hand-picked, single-sourced, premium-roasted, organic coffee from Yemen that cost you 14 bucks, sucker.


Hey asshole, it’s pronounced OR-E-GUN!



Blues, Brews and Flashy Shoes

Blues, Brews and Flashy Shoes

Taos Mesa Brewing will be jukin' Saturday. I know because it says so right here.

Red’s Lounge, the quintessential Mississippi Blues juke joint, is a thousand miles and worlds away from the Taos County Juvenile Detention Center; but on June 14th, the disparate locales connect briefly at the Taos Mesa Brewing Company for the Blues, Brews and Bikes festival at Taos Mesa Brewing. Roots and Wires and Taos Mesa Brewing are producing the festival for the benefit of the Freedom in Music Project, an organization that brings hope to at-risk and detained New Mexico youth through music.

OED Due Out in 2034

This makes me feel better about the novel I've been working on for a couple of years.



In the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, back when snow fell from the sky more frequently, I worked with Ben Myers in Taos Ski Valley. He was 18 the season I met him, and he had a full beard that made him look 25. When he skied, he wore a smile that made him look like a six-year-old. The guy could ski just about anything, which is what he usually did, even if the conditions said not to. When we skied together, having to call patrol to scrape him off a rock was always a possibility.

Ride with Team FiTaos

Ride with Team FiTaos


With hundreds of miles of trails in 1.5 million acres of national forest, there are always new mountain biking routes to discover in the Taos area. But pedaling blindly into the forest isn’t always the best way to do it. Joining a cycling club or team is the easiest way to tap the combined knowledge of other local riders or find someone to guide you safely through the trees. If you prefer pavement to dirt, a club ride offers companionship, motivation and increased visibility, the latter of which is always a good thing in Taos.

Read the whole story at LiveTaos

Gettin' Buzzed (Video)

I was watching this guy the entire hike up. About a minute after I got to the peak, he flew past. He must have seen me with my iPhone out. 


10,000 words of this is makes a long read a really long read.

While their father spent millions on drug binges and extravagances, the children lived like terrified prisoners, kept at bay by a revolving door of some four dozen nannies and caregivers, underfed, undereducated, scarcely noticed except as objects of wrath.

Dad was absorbed in his own world. Sometimes it was a far-off place in his mind, but other times he'd disappear, either into his stinking bedroom; to auctions to bid on collectible guns and other trinkets; and to farther locales, as when one night he announced, "I'm going for Thai food," then called days later – from Thailand.

Read the whole sad story at Rolling Stone.